I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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