Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
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Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
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My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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