ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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