If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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