is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize