is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize