It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
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When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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