You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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