So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize