Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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