you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
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How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
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And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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