Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize