the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
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Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
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I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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