he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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