nut hugger
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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