Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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