Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize