I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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