Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
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i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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