smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
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This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
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we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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