so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
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the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
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Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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