eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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