so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize