New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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