I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
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Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
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I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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