What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
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You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
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You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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