Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize