i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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