I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize