So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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