A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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