just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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