come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
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Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
She told me I should be a condom model.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
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I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
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