Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
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can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize