I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I believe in your delicious
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize