I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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