The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
he thought i was a dude.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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