What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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