I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
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I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
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alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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