Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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