ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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