omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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