I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
two words...techno handjob
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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