And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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