dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
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This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
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Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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