First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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