I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Never joke about your clitoris.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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