Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
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His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
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I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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