She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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