I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize